Leporemia ~ Testing

TTPeriod
Hello, my name is, uh, TTPeriod! I am making a game, and since I am not too keen (my eyes are kind of watery today), I was hoping that people can help find bugs and code error! Anyone can take part in this, really!

[list]
[*]Grammatical Error/Typo~ English is not my native language, and since I am still someone learning English a bit more, this game is bound to have grammatical errors! Typos are just... well, they are typos. They are unintentional.Please keep an eye on my grammar, because it is the one thing I struggle with everyday. Everyday. Especially when I speak to people.
[/*:m]
[*]Code Errors~ Sometimes, it's just dang hard to keep track of coding. I always worry if I have the closing tag for "If" commands and I must always check punctuation. I use Twine, while the main coding in textadventure.co.uk is either Squiffy or Quest, so there are not many times people can help me in my coding. But if you have some experience with SugarCube coding in Twine, I am glad![/*:m]
[*]Broken Links~ I don't know why this happens, but it does. Even with the right coding. Sometimes, it just appears as a line of coding. I always have to go back and retype it for it to actually come up.[/*:m]
[*]Varying Passages~ There are many variables in my game to keep track off, and it can change the story. So I always have to go to different points of the story where it changes your stats based on your decisions and save. Then, I go back and change decisions and go back to the passage and see if it differs. I don't always check all variables, because I am not a very organized person, so beta-testers will help me greatly.[/*:m][/list:u]

These are the type of things I always have to keep track of! It is hard to, so beta-testers are helpful, in my case. Thank you!

Play the game -> http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/ ... -available

If you want to see inside the game, you can download the game and upload it into Twine.org with the "upload file" option!
Latest Version: http://www.mediafire.com/download/8ttc6 ... remia.html (Download it!)

Wordpress/Blog! Keep up to date with Leporemia's development: https://leporemia.wordpress.com/

Let's see if you can find the Easter Egg (without looking inside the game)! :wink:

Also want to thank XanMag for telling me that there is actually a forum!

XanMag
Just a real quick glance... I'll give full attention in a couple days and give more feedback.

Lengthy, receive (2 simple misspellings I noticed on one play through).

I got this error when taking the guys charge - Error: HTML tag "set" is not closed

From the two plays I gave it (albeit quick), I do like it though. It would be nice to implement some checkpoint thing so you don't have to restart if you screw up... Unless that is the end of chapter 2, but if it is, I message would also be nice just so we know.

Good luck and I'll get back to it later!

TTPeriod
XanMag wrote:Just a real quick glance... I'll give full attention in a couple days and give more feedback.

Lengthy, receive (2 simple misspellings I noticed on one play through).

I got this error when taking the guys charge - Error: HTML tag "set" is not closed

From the two plays I gave it (albeit quick), I do like it though. It would be nice to implement some checkpoint thing so you don't have to restart if you screw up... Unless that is the end of chapter 2, but if it is, I message would also be nice just so we know.

Good luck and I'll get back to it later!


Thank you very much for trying the game... I'll try to find the misspells and the code... thank you. No, it is not yet finished, by the way.

jaynabonne
I haven't played very deeply, but I did notice a couple of things worth mentioning.

First, I decided to explore your "Unuseful Stuff" first, and of course, I went to "Weird Stuff" first. Having done that, when I clicked "back", it took me back from the Disclaimer. But when I clicked "Back" again to get back to the main menu, it went back to the disclaimer instead. In other words, "back" literally does a back. I think you want the "Back" at that first submenu to always go back to the main menu, not where you were before.

Second, as a general comment, you need to watch this shifting between present and past tenses. I have seen it before when I used to help people with prose. We have a natural tendency to speak in past tense, and it's tricky to maintain present tense. That's not to say it can't be done - it just takes more effort!

For example, your first sentence is "When you awoke, you first remember standing in an empty void." It should be "when you awake". "Awoke" is past tense, but you're speaking in present tense. Similarly:
- "You try to move your fingers, but they were at rest " should be "You try to move your fingers, but they are at rest"
- "your eyes are fixed upon the desolate horizon, as if it was expecting something" should be "your eyes are fixed upon the desolate horizon, as if it is expecting something" (or "were")
- "But you didn't move a muscle" should be "But you don't move a muscle"
- "You didn't have any courage to protest" should be "You don't have any courage to protest"
- And more: "You did not look calm. But you took deep breaths and you finally calmed down" should be "You do not look calm. But you take deep breaths and you finally calm down.

It can be tricky to maintain the present tense voice, but it's critical!

The asking up front for name, age and gender is a bit of a pain - I just hope it comes to some sort of fruition later.

One final thing (for now): while I know ""But you've a world to save. Worlds, actually" is technically correct, it just feels wrong to me. I would prefer "But you have a world to save. Worlds, actually." Of course, that's personal preference, but I'm throwing it out anyway, in case it resonates with you at all. :)

TTPeriod
jaynabonne wrote:I haven't played very deeply, but I did notice a couple of things worth mentioning.

First, I decided to explore your "Unuseful Stuff" first, and of course, I went to "Weird Stuff" first. Having done that, when I clicked "back", it took me back from the Disclaimer. But when I clicked "Back" again to get back to the main menu, it went back to the disclaimer instead. In other words, "back" literally does a back. I think you want the "Back" at that first submenu to always go back to the main menu, not where you were before.

Second, as a general comment, you need to watch this shifting between present and past tenses. I have seen it before when I used to help people with prose. We have a natural tendency to speak in past tense, and it's tricky to maintain present tense. That's not to say it can't be done - it just takes more effort!

For example, your first sentence is "When you awoke, you first remember standing in an empty void." It should be "when you awake". "Awoke" is past tense, but you're speaking in present tense. Similarly:
- "You try to move your fingers, but they were at rest " should be "You try to move your fingers, but they are at rest"
- "your eyes are fixed upon the desolate horizon, as if it was expecting something" should be "your eyes are fixed upon the desolate horizon, as if it is expecting something" (or "were")
- "But you didn't move a muscle" should be "But you don't move a muscle"
- "You didn't have any courage to protest" should be "You don't have any courage to protest"
- And more: "You did not look calm. But you took deep breaths and you finally calmed down" should be "You do not look calm. But you take deep breaths and you finally calm down.

It can be tricky to maintain the present tense voice, but it's critical!

The asking up front for name, age and gender is a bit of a pain - I just hope it comes to some sort of fruition later.

One final thing (for now): while I know ""But you've a world to save. Worlds, actually" is technically correct, it just feels wrong to me. I would prefer "But you have a world to save. Worlds, actually." Of course, that's personal preference, but I'm throwing it out anyway, in case it resonates with you at all. :)


It does kind of feel weird, but I wanted to try it out (the you've thing). I guess I'll change that, if it feels a bit wrong.

And yes, the mixing up of past tense and present tense are my weak points. I really need to work on that.

Maybe saying it up front... maybe I'll change that a bit so it feels more natural. Maybe sooner in the future...

Thank you for your feedback :)

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