Bad Juju New Game

jbarnett5150
Just posted my new game and could use some feedback/constructive criticism. I'm sure it might need some tweaking. Anyway it's my first game so be gentle. It hasn't been categorized by the moderators yet but it is in the horror genre.

Bad Juju
You are a documentarian of the occult. Your latest adventure takes you to the city of New Orleans where you attempt to uncover a clandestine voodoo sect. In the course of your investigation you are unwittingly plunged into the heart of the clan's lair. Now you must use all of your experience and skill just to escape with your life.

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/ ... q/bad-juju

jaynabonne
I did a quick start to a play. (On lunch break at work.) But here is a transcript. Perhaps you can see some of the problem areas. :)

You awake, not sure how long you were lying there unconscious. You are in a candlelit chamber. The first thing you notice is a human skull lying on a small wooden table. Your cell phone is lying on the floor. It is smashed and useless.


You are in a Chamber.
You can see a table (on which there is a skull).
You can go east, west, north or south.
The walls and floor are made of rough hewn stone blocks. There is a large hole in the ceiling that you fell through. An old light fixture provides a dim yellow light which reveals intricate designs painted on the walls.

> x cell phone
I can't see that.

> x fixture
A glass light fixture mounted on the ceiling. A dull light emits from the incandescent bulb.

> x designs
I can't see that.

> x walls
Paintings cover the walls. From your research, you recognize many voodoo symbols in the artwork.

> x symbols
I can't see that.

> x skull
It appears to be a human skull.

> take skull
Two heads are better than one! You pick up the skull.

> north

You are in a Hallway.
You can go south or up.
The long, damp hallway is slick with moss. A small hole in the ceiling must run all the way to the surface as rain water drips down to the floor.

> up

You are in a Vaulted Archway.
You can go down or north.
A stone archway looms high above your head. The room is dimly lit but you see a menacing figure standing to the north.

> x figure

I can't see that.

> x menacing figure
I can't see that.

> n
You would be crazy to try to get past the sentinel.

> look at sentinel
Blocking the door to the north is a mammoth guard. He stands at what you estimate must nearly be seven feet tall. He is musclebound and he stares at you visciously. In his hands he holds a razor sharp javelin. He is standing inside a magic circle surrounded by voodoo symbols made in white sand. He seems bound inside it which is the only thing protecting you at the moment.

> x flame [which I saw in the side pane only, not in the text]
In a recessed portion of the wall is a gas flame which burns intensely. Below it is a small round metal fixture. It has a square indention in the center.

> x fixture
I can't see that.

> x metal fixture
I can't see that.

> x indentation
I can't see that.

> x square
I can't see that.

(A bit later, after going back)

You are in a Living Area.
You can go east, south or west.
A large room with a sofa and a lounge chair. A reading lamp is next to the lounge chair. A small table sits next to the sofa.

> x sofa
An old sofa, not in the best of shape.

> sit on sofa
You flop down on the old couch and a cloud of dust billows up. A spring is sticking into your leg. This was probaly not a good idea.

> stand
I don't understand your command.

> sit in chair
I don't understand your command.

> sit on chair
You sit in the chair. <---- !!!! The recliner no longer works but it is comfortable enough.

> stand
I don't understand your command.

> stand up
I don't understand your command.

> x lamp
A reading lamp sitting next to the lounge chair. It is made of tarnished brass and has a switch. It is currently switched off.

> turn on lamp
You pull the chain and a dim light springs forth.

> x lamp
A reading lamp sitting next to the lounge chair. It is tarnished brass and has a switch. A dim yellow light emits from the incandescent bulb.

> south

You are in a Kitchen.
You can go north.
This room appears to have been used as a kitchen, although you wouldn't want to eat anything that came from here. There is a filthy counter and the place smells of rotting food. An old refrigerator hums in the corner.

> x refrigerator
A worn out refrigerator that used to be white. The door is closed.

> open door
I can't see that.


XanMag
I agree with what Jay posted. I too played it a couple days ago. Spent about 20 minutes or so testing it out, which is about four times longer than I spend on most new games (that's a compliment, by the way!).

I want to go back and continue playing when my work slows down a bit, but can offer this now very quickly. Spend some time adding lots of scenery objects (it doesn't take long). All of those things that give an "I can't see that response" are one of my big pet peeves. If it's an object in the room description, it should be observable if the player looks at it. It just adds tremendous amounts to the realism of it all.

The good news is, that it is a very easy fix... there's no new code to add really other than adding an object and giving it a description. If it's not a crucial piece (and it doesn't appear that those things are because if they were you would have given them more depth) then there are no complexities to add - just tick scenery and give it a look at description! :D

All in all however, I thought it was a good game and am looking forward to going back to it again. I like how you have added things to the room descriptions that the player should pay attention to - like the muddy floor. I can't however seems to get past the sentinel or the snake... don't know if I am missing something or not (probably something hidden in the room descriptions!)

Good luck and let us know of updates. Like I said... much better than most new releases out there!

XanMag

jbarnett5150
Thanks for the tips. It was kind of a beta version but all the major stuff works fine. I'm working on filling out the descriptions a little better and adding the scenery items. Hopefully i'll have it updated by tomorrow morning.

jbarnett5150
I just updated the game. No doubt I will have to do it again probably. It is much better with more of the scenery objects in place and a few tweaky spots fixed.

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