My first game

wyattwak
I was so excited when i found out about this site. for many years i have wanted to find a way to create a text game but due to my lack of programming knowledge i didnt know where to start. thanks to your amazing software i am now happy to annouce that i am currently writing my first gamebook which i am hopeing to release within the next few months. It is very early on so there arent many details that i can share yet as things are likely to change in development. My basic idea is to have the player be a knight who has to save his town and possible his love interest from an evil wizard. i know that is very typical of fantasy stories but i intend to liven things up through satire of the fantasy ganre as a whole as well as adding in interesting side characters to meet through out your journey and even taking suggestions from people here on the forum.... lets face it i need all the help i can get.

wyattwak
Ok I have made some progress but I need help thinking of a title.... The story itself will be in a traditional fantasy setting.... you know swords and sorcery with dragons and trolls and what not, but I would like to add in some satirical comedy... one of my more ambitious goals is to make a branching story in which depending on the choices you make the main character develops differently ranging from a persona style silent protagonist with no real dialog to a wise cracking knight with a huge ego... so I would need a vague title but yet something that can still catch peoples attention. Oh and if I decide to add your suggestions to the game you will get your screen name (or whatever you wish to by identified as) in the credits....

wyattwak
In case I haven't mentioned it yet I will be using this thread to announce all progress in my game.... as of now I have a very early prototype built and I was wondering if anyone would like to play test it for me... Keep in mind this is a VERY EARLY prototype so any and all constructive criticism and suggestions are welcome and very much appreciated. This prototype is mainly a example of my writing style and does not represent the finished product... so once again any advice is helpful and I'm still looking for a title...

The Pixie
Sent me a link to it, and I will take a look (upload it as unlisted if you have not already done so).

Some clichés you might want to satirise:

Destiny: The main character is the son/daughter of someone super powerful, prophesised to save the world of destroy it, but does not realise it.
Koffee: People in fantasy novels always seem to drink stuff that is clearly coffee, but has another name, beginning with 'K'
Not-elves: No one wants to write a clone of Tolkein, so the solution is to have elves, but call them something else. You could lampshade it by having someone call them elves, and everyone else tells him they are defintely not elves.
Map: All fantasy novels need a map, and it has to have mountains across the top and down one side and ocean down the other side and across the bottom. Oh, and a mountain of doom in the middle, of course.
Trilogy: Break it into three volumes (not three games, just tell the player it is now book 2), and in the middle volume all the characters do is travel around.
Or more: Why stop at a trilogy? Just keep writing more and more and more. Not sure that will translate to the medium...

wyattwak
Ok sorry to ask such a newbie question but how do I publish my game

wyattwak
Sorry about that I looked at the tutorial.... my game book is up now in fantasy the title is First Quest- Where it all begins .... but keep in mind that this is very early on...

wyattwak
its pretty much linear right now but I plan to add in more humor and choices soon....

XanMag
You should publish it privately first. You'll get a link that you can share on this forum. Then, those interested in sampling it and providing feedback can simply click on the link. You should also test play 'The Tower' (I think that is the name), but don't rip off any of the satire there! It sounds similar to what you are aiming at creating.

As far as the best satire out there goes, you may want to re-watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I assume you have seen it already - every TA'er has seen it likely thousands of times and I frequently find myself referencing it.

Anyway, I would share the link to avoid random TA'ers stumbling on to a partial game and getting pissed because it's not complete. And if you leave it public, just make sure it's VERY clear that it is a work in progress, especially if its considerably short right now. Either way, I'm off to check it out.

""Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptangya Zoooooooom Boing Ni!"

XanMag
Just gave it a quick look...

The style is good and the writing descriptive. I like the dialogue as well. The characters feel real when they talk. This is difficult to do, so kudos.

The criticism - copy-paste all your text to word and correct the grammatical/spelling mistakes. There are quite a few, namely with contractions, "business", your vs you're, etc. With the lengthy responses, use indentations or spaces to separate change in topics/dialogue. And try to get rid of the relentless "...'s". :)

Continue writing. I think it has potential! Finish a sizable chunk of it and update your game. Then, let us know you've updated it via this thread and we'll give it another look-see. And, as always, try out 'Xanadu - the Worlds Only Hope' and let me know what you think (perhaps I'll add that last bit to a permanent signature! Lol).


Happy gaming!

XanMag

wyattwak
Thanks xanmag and I while definitely work on the .....'s its just a place holder to make the sentences feel right when I read them. At any rate it does have a ton of grammatical errors, and they will be fixed. I also intend to add more choices and maybe even some way of portraying combat in a way that makes the player feel a little more in control.

HegemonKhan
you could take a look at the 'Sir Loins' quest games too, for some ideas, as it's satirical fantasy.

(and there's a remake of King's Quest 5 as a quest game too)

ya... Monty Python is a very good resource for ideas (thanks for the reminder of this, XanMag, hehe), as well as Princess Bride too.

The Pixie
I recommend Terry Pratchet too, especially his first two, The Colour of Magic and the Light Fantastic (the later ones are better stories, but these two are more about satirising the genre).

wyattwak
Ok guys and gals time for another update. I didn't get anything else written yesterday or the day before due to a birthday and then some writes block. Today I plan to write some more material, and I want to sample a few character ideas with you guys. One of my ideas is for a hopelessly lost samurai trying to find his way back home to the east. My idea is for this samurai to have dialog that is a twist on the stereotypes of samurai. Does that sound interesting????

XanMag
Appalachian Samurai!!

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