Fatal Island Feedback Wanted

renagrade
I have some experience with text games, but this is my first real one. I've gotten two 5/5 ratings so far, and I'm really excited about that, but I'm also trying to understand how my game can be improved and find out what kind of experience the players are getting, since most of the time, if people don't enjoy the game, they just quit and don't leave feedback. So if anyone would like to help, I would really appreciate it if you check out my game and answer the following questions about it. If you want, I'd be perfectly happy to do the same thing for anyone else who wants similar feedback (so long as it is in the CYOA format, since I'm awful at the other kind) :).

Did the game feel either too short or too long? (please specify which)

Was the game either too easy or too hard?

How many times did you die?

Where you happy with the amount of choices and paths allowed to your character? If not, what would you like to be different?

Where there any distracting typos? (feel free to specify where, if you can)

How many people did you manage to save?

And finally, were the colors distracting or do you think it added to the game?



Feel free to leave a comment or review on the game itself!
:)

Here is the link to the game. I tried attaching the file, but it didn't work, so I'm sorry about that :(

http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/kovwh9malk2zsuhun0-vtg/fatal-island-part-1


Also, if you feel like it, tell me if you like the cover art or not :)

OurJud
Give me a while, renagrade, and I'll return to address your questions.

renagrade
Take your time, OurJud! :)

OurJud
Okay. Initial thoughts. The writing is very nice indeed, and with some polishing could be better still. You create a great atmosphere with the plane crash, and it gave me a real sense of immersion.

I'm not a huge fan of CYOA, and will just say that if you ever want to tackle the TA format, you'll get a lot of help on here. I was the same when I started, but I wanted the freedom the TA format allows and decided to take it on.

Anyway, onto your questions:

Did the game feel either too short or too long? (please specify which): Too short, but you do say there is a part two - which is good as I was looking forward to some exploring of the island.

Was the game either too easy or too hard? That's a tricky one to answer. I died three times through making bum decisions, but the checkpoints, although welcome, meant getting to the end was fair easy. I think a lot of adventure game writers nowadays avoid 'killing' their player, and instead make things difficult for them if they make bad decisions. I think dying in these games can be a game killer - in more ways than one.

How many times did you die? Three (I drowned when trying to find more equipment, got eaten by the shark twice)

Where you happy with the amount of choices and paths allowed to your character? If not, what would you like to be different?
I like to see more than two, but not more than four in these games, so I reckon you got it about right.

Where there any distracting typos? (feel free to specify where, if you can): I noticed a couple (can't remember where now) but I can't say they were distracting.

How many people did you manage to save? One :?

If I was to give any general advice, I'd say try to avoid giving options where the correct decision is obvious. There weren't too many, and I died a couple of time by choosing the wrong one, but just be careful you don't make the choices too simple.

Nicely done!

renagrade
Very helpful feedback, thank you so much! I was afraid that the game was too short, but I had too split it so I could get some feedback before I made the entire game.

As for the typos and polished writing, I'll probably go back in on Monday and edit some.

I think that you're probably right about killing the player. I wanted to make it hard, but I didn't think of just making things difficult for them. The thing is, if I make it difficult for them but they can never die, then it seems like the choices don't have much weight. So how does it sound to make it difficult and then eventually, if they make enough wrong choices, they die?

It's hard to make choices difficult for the user, but I'll continue to try to perfect that with part two! Also, which person did you end up saving?

By the way, you can only save 2 people, so you did pretty well! :) In order to save both people, you had to make a lot of the right choices in a row.


Thanks again for your feedback! :D

Silver
Why do choices have to be about life and death and not just narrative branches? There's nothing more boring than to be forced to start over in order to learn the 'right' decision only to make another 'wrong' one at a later stage and go through it all again. It's a bit teach the rat how to get the peanut.

renagrade
Silver wrote:Why do choices have to be about life and death and not just narrative branches? There's nothing more boring than to be forced to start over in order to learn the 'right' decision only to make another 'wrong' one at a later stage and go through it all again. It's a bit teach the rat how to get the peanut.

Thanks for the feedback! There are actually 4 main narrative branches, each on having slight alterations. I'll keep it in mind, as you are the second person to give that feedback.

Thank you! :)

jaynabonne
I played it a couple of times, to a death. Given that the entire point of the game is survival, I think the fact that you die is not only natural but more or less expected. It's not so much that if you can't die, the choices have no meaning. It's more that if you can't die, then the game itself has to be about something else. I think you're at least focusing on what you want it to be. :) It would be irritating to die if it was just because I picked the wrong side of bed to get out of, as this other game I played once had.

At least your choices were logical: do I help someone else or help myself? I had to make a choice, and I made the wrong one, knowing full well what the consequences might be. It was my choice to make, and I made it. I took a chance, gambled and lost. Do I swim for shore even though it says I'm too tired to make it? Well if I do, then it's my own fault. (I actually didn't read the text closely enough.) So I think you at least have logical deaths, which makes it easier for me to accept that my death was due to my own real informed choice.

From what I've seen so far, I wouldn't change it, if the rest is of the same vein.

ejm29
I loved the game. If anything I would have like it to be a little longer, but a second works better. I found no typo's or errors. I was very happy with every aspect of the game. It is well written, has a good plot and detail. I saved 7 survivors. :)
Sorry if this feed back seems a little short, im just trying to give you the info without any distractions.

In short I really enjoined the game, I cannot falt it and im looking forward to part 2.

renagrade
jaynabonne wrote:

ejm29 wrote:

Thanks for the feedback! Both very positive, thank you so much! If either of you feel like writing a review for the game to boost it's popularity, that would be amazing :)

OurJud
renagrade wrote:So how does it sound to make it difficult and then eventually, if they make enough wrong choices, they die?

By the way, you can only save 2 people, so you did pretty well! :) In order to save both people, you had to make a lot of the right choices in a row.

I would say that would be a better idea, both for pacing reasons and scope (the perceived size of the game's world). Jay does make a fair point, however, in that the nature/theme of your game demands death at certain junctions. I would just say peg them back a little, don't have them so frequently. This allows for more narrative branches and the illusion that you're in a living, breathing world, rather than a corridor that has a series of crossroads; left death, right survive.

Not sure who I saved, to be honest. If it told me, I missed it.

jaynabonne
I liked the fact that it didn't kill me right away when I tried to help the girl. I was able to make a few choices along that path before I eventually bit it. For example, the choice about whether to put on your mask first or hers seemed like one of those critical choices given what the airlines tell you during their safety lectures, and yet it made absolutely no difference that I could see. That was a bit refreshing, to be honest, and set my expectations on a different level. Not every choice was life or death, even the ones that seemed to be, but I couldn't really be sure, so I had to be careful. :)

renagrade
OurJud wrote:
I would say that would be a better idea, both for pacing reasons and scope (the perceived size of the game's world). Jay does make a fair point, however, in that the nature/theme of your game demands death at certain junctions. I would just say peg them back a little, don't have them so frequently. This allows for more narrative branches and the illusion that you're in a living, breathing world, rather than a corridor that has a series of crossroads; left death, right survive.

Not sure who I saved, to be honest. If it told me, I missed it.


Okay, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So next time, death is an option, but not imminently, and not necessarily as unavoidable.

Well, it doesn't say a name of who you cam save, it's just either the guy or the girl.

Silver
renagrade wrote:

"Silver"

Why do choices have to be about life and death and not just narrative branches? There's nothing more boring than to be forced to start over in order to learn the 'right' decision only to make another 'wrong' one at a later stage and go through it all again. It's a bit teach the rat how to get the peanut.


Thanks for the feedback! There are actually 4 main narrative branches, each on having slight alterations. I'll keep it in mind, as you are the second person to give that feedback.

Thank you! :)



Do note: I haven't played the game - just dying in IF is a bugbear of mine. Well, in RPGs/Adventure games in general if it means grinding all the way back through again.

renagrade
jaynabonne wrote:I liked the fact that it didn't kill me right away when I tried to help the girl. I was able to make a few choices along that path before I eventually bit it. For example, the choice about whether to put on your mask first or hers seemed like one of those critical choices given what the airlines tell you during their safety lectures, and yet it made absolutely no difference that I could see. That was a bit refreshing, to be honest, and set my expectations on a different level. Not every choice was life or death, even the ones that seemed to be, but I couldn't really be sure, so I had to be careful. :)

Thank you so much! I'll try to continue to play into that in the sequel! Also, there is a way to save the girl, or at least try to, and live. There's a few actually. :)

renagrade
Silver wrote:
Do note: I haven't played the game - just dying in IF is a bugbear of mine. Well, in RPGs/Adventure games in general if it means grinding all the way back through again.

Oh okay. There is a checkpoint though :)

adrao
Hi,

Just had a go at it, I thought it was a pretty nice (yet short) game. To go through the review using your form

Did the game feel either too short or too long? Short... Somehow I think I played around 10m and got to two different endings... would be nice if it went on for longer, though I get the point that there is a second part (though why not just add to the first part?)

Was the game either too easy or too hard? Pretty easy... sort of prompts you along most of the time, so there is a "fail safe" way of doing things

How many times did you die? Seems a bit strange that I would say I died 5-6 times after what I wrote in previous question, but somehow I was just messing around I think (to see if the pathways were indeed logical, not always the case in gamebooks). Actually there are lots of ways to die, but somehow its expected given the nature of the game...

Where you happy with the amount of choices and paths allowed to your character? If not, what would you like to be different? Choices were not too bad, usually 2 is nice, 3 is better, and you avoided the "press continue" one (I hate not getting a choice at the end of each page). The first choice (unless I missed something) is kind of pointless, cos you black out regardless (or did I miss something?). There are a couple of others that kind of feel that way (like for example when you join the group of survivors in the water)

Where there any distracting typos? (feel free to specify where, if you can) Couldn't find any obvious ones, though I am kind of a quick reader so often miss the minor ones...

How many people did you manage to save? One time I managed to save one... never managed to save the girl though...

And finally, were the colors distracting or do you think it added to the game? They were ok...

renagrade
Alright, thank you so much! :)

The first choice is meant to be pointless, but if you think that's a bad thing, I'll definitely take note of that.

I think that from your advice and a lot of others, I need to make the choices less obvious and not always lead immediately to death if incorrect.

Odie_da_Bossé
Nice game, Renagrade. The fact that it is so simple makes it awesome. It helps you complete the game with a clear head. Great job!

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