Alpha Testers Needed

AlDaBeast
Alpha Testers
Game Title: Desire
Genre: Sandpit (Romance)
Version: 1.2 [Alpha]
Critique Level: Honest
Rewards: Special in-game Features, and a game review from me
Questions: PM me
Link: http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/ ... desire-1-2

I have been working on my game for a while, and It's my first, but its not a noobish one, It's got some sound effects, cool features, random events, etc.

adrao
Just had a quick go at it...

Found one typo so far: "Your 20 minuet drive begins". However, after I get to the office nothing else seems to work (see below, is this the end of the game?)

You choose to take the elevator. Your office is on the second floor. You can go to the 3rd Floor, or the 4th Floor.
You safely make it to the next floor.
You can go to your office, occupied cubical, bathroom, or F2 Water Fountain.
Error - no page named 'YourOffice'
Error - no page named 'FullCubicle'
Error - no page named 'F2BR'
Error - no page named 'F2 Water Fountain'

AlDaBeast
Its still in Alpha, so not all the story is completed yet. I appreciate you trying it out though. BTW There is a 18-22% chance to get the Zombie Story line at the start of the game.

adrao
Hi,

Ok, gave it a second go and unlocked lazy ass and smoked. Then I played again, tried to talk to man in the front (but link broken?). Actually, I get the point that the game as it is is up to the office only? After playing a few times I still couldn't get the zombie story line. At the moment I do not really see the reason for many of the actions (like there is not much to do in the kitchen etc), I suppose that you are planning to expand on it so all these might make some sense later?

Also found the following typos

"fet up" (fed up?)
"but you will most defiently be late"

AlDaBeast
Expansions will be added for the small details, making it a more immersive game. The Zombie Storyline is activated at a 18% chance when hitting Get Up for the first time, and its at a 22% chance when hitting Snooze. I could add a temporary checkpoint to activate the Zombie Storyline from the Checkpoints menu. And the Office area is being worked on. It will be much more in-depth, and I will update it to 1.3 when the office is completed. Thank you for spotting the typos :)

jaynabonne
More typos, etc:

- First page: You decide weather [whether] you should wake up, or go back to sleep.
- You swing wide the door that secures all your fashion desires. You browse for some time, and you cant [can't] seem to choose between three of the outfits you've chosen. Although you realise that time wont [won't] wait for your decsision [decision].
- Acheivement [Achievement] Unlocked Zombie...
- The Kitchen [kitchen] is dark, [no comma] and almost seems as if its [it's] pleading to be filled with light once more. You turn on the switch, [period] a [A] small kitchen comes into full view. You decide to either make cereal, grab something quick to eat, or to [delete "to"] go and get dressed. (If you want to leave "to" on the last one, then you need it on all of them.)
- You open the closet [closet in the kitchen? cupboard, pantry?] door, undecided on what ceral [cereal] will suit your needs, [period] you [You] choose carefully.
- You continue twoards [towards] your vehicle; [comma] a fancy, red Hyundai Sonata.
- Eight minuets [minutes] have passed since hearing that noise.
- You yet again press the button, just wishing the next time it wont [won't] go off again. BEEP BEEP BEEP Eight minuets [minutes] have passed since hearing that noise.
- The living room slumbers near the outsidee [outside] street lamp, [I have no idea what that means] as light illuminates through your small windows into your living room. [I normally think of "illuminates" as a transitive verb, one needing an object. You illuminate something, cause it to light up. The light illuminates the living room. The flashlight illuminates the wall. A candle illuminates a room. I don't know if the way you have it could be accepted in some off way, but it sounds odd to me.]
- You decide to watch some television, lay [lie] on the couch for a while, or to [delete "to"] go and get dressed. (If you want to leave "to" on the last one, then you need it on all of them.)
- You light the match with the silver lighter, and instantainiously a flame ignites. [http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/42168/difference-between-instantly-and-instantaneously]
- You inhale the cigarette, and upon inhailing [inhaling], you find yourself desperatly [desperately] grasping air. ["grasping air"? "gasping for air"?] Your [You're] still able to get dressed if you are quick, and this might be your last chance.
- You insist [add "on"] continuing to harm yourself. This time you start to choke, [period] its [It's] getting pretty ugly, trying to smoke the cigar. [I thought it was a cigarette.] You cant [can't] go back now,[period] might [You might] as well continue smoking.
- You inhale, and you start to suffocate, [period] your [Your] lungs bocome [become] blocked with smoke. You try to reach for the phone on the wall, but you [add "are"] unable to do so.
- Acheivement [Achievement] Unlocked: Smoked
- You wear ankle-high socks, [no comma] and a yellow sports bra, [no comma] and panties.

Other problem: restarting the game sometimes yields black text on a black background.

OurJud
To be perfectly honest, even in Alpha, I found this almost impossible to play as there are so many undefined exits and choices. Putting on the 3rd outfit in the bedroom kills the game (no key press or hyperlinks to choose from). I also got stuck when talking to the woman at the reception desk, where any option I chose returned an 'Error - no page found' message.

I appreciated that you're testing things out right now, so I'm happy to accept not every option leads somewhere, but I don't think many play testers will tolerate getting locked in so frequently and having not only to restart, but remember what choices they made in order to avoid getting trapped in error loops a second time.

Silver
Generally speaking, Alpha that is fit for testing would be sections of the game that are in a state of Beta (fully functioning) and you give testers those bits to test then the game becomes Beta when the entire game is in that state. Prior to that it's self testing otherwise you risk fatiguing your testers.

AlDaBeast
Thank you for all your feedback. I have read all of it, and I have learned much from the feedback then actually making/playing the games. I do realize I have the game at the earliest of stages, and I will soon fix that. The initial feedback was much greater than expected, and I am glad that there were so many people willing to go out of their way to try it. I am in school, so updates aren't that frequent due to trying to make the game meaningful, and not choppy. I will defiantly make sure to ask for testers when I have a lot of the game completed. Thanks again for testing.

jaynabonne
I will definitely look forward to it. :)

OurJud
jaynabonne wrote:I will definitely look forward to it. :)

Ditto.

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