My new horror survival game, It

jaktube
http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/ol1h14qy3eiuuju9wiygia/it Please check out my new game. I have put many hours into it.

Description:
"Hello! Welcome to our testing grounds! Today we will be testing something we like to call It. It was once a person like you, and he still is... sort of. Just remember that It will kill you if It finds you. So don't get found! Try to find your way out of here alive, and maybe we will reward you! Ha ha ha! Hope to speak to you soon!"

Welcome to It, an intense survival horror game. Attempt to escape a strange laboratory while being chased by It, a humanoid creature who wishes to kill you. Find food, run, hide and explore in It, my very first text adventure game.

Silver
Okay, some initial thoughts. From one of your opening rooms:

You are in a lobby.
A large room with benches in the middle. The floor is tiled and stained with blood.
You can see a tomato, a leather jacket and a bench.
You can go South, Southeast, West, East, Southwest, North and Northwest.

>examine blood
I can't see that

>examine tiles
I can't see that
It attacks you. You should probably leave this room.
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Okay, firstly if you include things in your description (in the above example blood and tiles) you really need to create scenery objects for them and give them descriptions. People will examine everything in your game looking for clues and if they're told they can't see something that is there in the description then it shows the game hasn't been polished and indicates that it probably isn't finished.

There also appears to be a change of perspective. You enter the room / I can't see that. You need to choose the perspective from either first or second person (I'm reliably informed that IF generally uses second person) and stick to it.

Lastly (although not really a bug as such, more personal preference) the appearance of 'it' felt a little abrupt. It would help to build a bit of tension. If I could hear scratching noises, footsteps, whatever it would add to the tension and help build a picture. It just sort of appeared out of nowhere and attacked me and lacked a description so I have no idea what it even looks like. It just feels a bit wooden.

Another personal gripe (especially if the game has been built sans map) is having loads of directions to choose from. If the lobby is a central area with rooms branching off then ignore this. But if it has seven directions to choose from and then leads to rooms that also have seven directions to choose from this can quickly become disorientating in the player's mind.

Seems you've put quite a bit of work into it though, I'll give it another play later.

jaktube
Thanks for giving it a play. I like the idea of the buildup before It attacks you... I will implement that. The lobby is also the central room of the game, and thus has many directions. The map drawing was, at one point, part of the game, but it caused lag, so i removed it. No other room has that many exits, though. The descriptors... well, i'm pretty sure I had those, but I'll double check. Again, thanks for playing. Updates should come out soon. :D

TextStories
I played a little of it. I see where the other guy was going with his statements and I agree with what he was saying as well. However I found a few other things too-

In the Security Room it announces to the player that there is a fire extinguisher. When you take said fire extinguisher and re-look at the room, it is still on the wall, yet you do have it in your inventory and you can not take it again.

You have food and fluids you can "eat", but not "drink". For the first few tries I thought the milk or the water could not be "digested" at all. I kept typing "drink water" or "drink milk" to no effect. Then I figured what the heck, let's try to “eat” the fluids. So "eat water" or "eat milk" works just fine, but throws me off. (Unless the milk was so curdled it was like cottage cheese and you had to "chew" it to "eat" it. :lol:

Also the leather jacket is not working properly. You can wear it, but it has no effect that I can tell. You can not take the jacket off once worn and you can keep re-wearing it or putting it on as many times as you like while already wearing it. You can wear it with out taking it in the first place, but it still shows it in the room description. Simply wearing the jacket does not allow you to "carry" more items either. I am not saying the jacket has pockets, but I would assume, wearing the jacket would allow for more hand/arm space to carry something else. I mean it is not heavy and only made of fabric, but still...

Also if it is a leather jacket, I would assume it would afford you some kind of armor, even if nothing more than negating a claw swipe in some small way. In real life a heavy denim leather jacket (You do not see a lot of them around these days...) could possibly withstand a knife “slash”. Obviously however, it would not do anything for a thrust of a knife. And of course this creature who I think of as a Licker from Resident Evil, may have claws so sharp it would shred the jacket anyway... but then why have the jacket as an item to be picked up to begin with?

And what the other guy said about foot steps or hearing scratching noises or my preference- indiscernible noises like whispers or mumbled voices, perhaps words heard backwards if you can use audio files..., or simply text would be good as well. The creature just pops up to attack you, opposed to entering the actual room though. I mean it is suspenseful, but feels a little cheap. Perhaps you could say that- "It enters the room and begins to attack you." You are still getting the player off guard and they did not have a chance to run, but also showing that It did not just appear from thin air.

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Those were the things that I saw that needed work on. Now this is the praise for what I see good in your work-

I enjoy the look of the screen and text. It reminds me of 8-bit gaming or retro in general. Much different than the generic white window and small normal text.

I was very pleased with the monitor in the Security Room. I like how it tries to show you where It is at any given time. Although a little sad the computer seems functionless.

The file documents and descriptions of gory scenes are great as well and lends to the creepy atmosphere.

And It itself is a menacing creature. I mean I do not know much about it yet, but the way It is able to shuffle from room to room is quite nice and also how it seems to follow you. I have not studied the game well enough yet however, but is it randomly appearing illogically from room to room, as in from the basement and then it's next room is the cafeteria, meaning it jumped five rooms in a single bound? Or does it actually have a course of really going from basement, to upstairs, to the lobby, to the hall way and then to the cafeteria. (Or what ever the course really is, I did not memorize it, but you should get what I am asking.) I mean the code works, but you do not want to cheapen it by simply allowing for randomly picking rooms that make no sense.

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In closing I enjoy the suspense that occurs with in the game and that was the main theme of your game, survival horror. I am fearful when I encounter It in the game. I think the first time I saw It, was my first play coming out of the closet, going South to the cafeteria and it was just standing there. It did not attack me at first as I recall, until I began grabbing things. Also drawing it's attention with in the building at one point was nice as well, although I am not sure if that can only be detrimental to you or that can actually save you if done right, like used as a distraction...

You do have some work to do on the game, but at the same time, I enjoyed playing it. Even with it's flaws, it is still a fun play. Please continue with it to make it a 5 star game. The concept and basic build is there, you just need a little tinkering. Good job! :D

jaktube
Thank you! I'm working on an update now, stay tuned for it!

jaktube
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... UPDATE 1.13 OUT!!!!

I've spent countless hours fixing the combat system, adding more descriptions and some small hints, adding new objects etc etc

I've made the game much better. Try out the teleporter. I dare you. :D

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