In addition to what Silver said (do it!), I would suggest a good proofreading by you. In the front yard, you have this description:
The front yard is partially illuminated be the light from inside the house. The yard is bare of everything but grass, at the bottom you can make out a fence, beyond that you can see smething moving in the murky darkness. An animal maybe? Another person? Either way, you on't want to step into the darkness to find out.
I'm sure if you just read it, you'll see the three misspellings there.
You also need to get your run-on sentences under control. They're all over the place. Basically, you cannot splice sentences together with a comma. (In the above block, it should be "The yard is bare of everything but grass. At the bottom you can make out a fence. Beyond that, you can see something moving in the murky darkness.") It might seem nit picky, but these are text games, and all the errors detract from what you're trying to do.